One of the biggest mistakes I made my first year teaching had nothing to do with curriculum, supplies, room arrangements, or even student learning (on the surface). Nope, all of those things that you think of when it comes to teaching — that wasn’t what tripped me up.
My biggest mistake was not spending enough time building classroom relationships.
(And it ended up impacting my curriculum, supplies, room arrangements, and student learning).
I didn’t make that mistake this year when we headed back into the classroom, and my conscious choice to spend time developing relationships and community culture is already paying off. (And admittedly, it makes for some awkward moments in the teacher’s lounge as others are complaining about classwide behaviors, and I’m not echoing their sentiments.)
If you’re skeptical, I get you. I spent that first year (the year I failed to develop an effective community culture) blaming everyone else – administrators for not enforcing consequences, students for their behaviors, the curriculum for not engaging students well, parents for not following-up. I didn’t see that I was the factor that could achieve the outcome in my classroom I was so desperate for (i.e. a group of students willing and able to learn!).
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In Culturally Responsive Teaching & The Brain, Zaretta Hammond lays out the basic brain science behind the absolute need for warm relationships and strong community in the classroom. While the intention of this post isn’t to dig into the brain science, you can grab the book (or audiobook) yourself to learn more about these ideas. You can also listen to this episode of the Teaching Science In 3D Podcast for a quick-notes version.
But how do you develop those warm relationships and a strong community culture?
Trust in any relationship is built in small doses. It’s, as Brené Brown communicates in “The Anatomy Of Trust”, a jar of marbles that is filled one small interaction at a time. These “marble jar moments” are the foundation of learning in our classrooms. So then the question becomes, how do we create those “marble jar moments” with our students?
In Culturally Responsive Teaching And The Brain, Zaretta Hammond shares five research-backed approaches to building trust in the classroom. These are:
- affirming student identities
- getting (selectively) vulnerable
- showing up in your community
- shared interests and experiences
- centering joy
[You can dig into those ideas further in this blog post, if you’d like!]
With these general ideas in mind, here are a few things I did this year to establish my classroom culture and build those relationships.
Learning About My Students
Like most teachers, I utilize student and parent surveys to learn more about my students – their interests, their home lives, personality traits, and even how they see themselves. Unlike some teachers though (and myself in past years!), I now really try to use these surveys to connect with my students. I make notes about their home lives and interests and make sure to follow-up with questions and chit-chat, as well as explore ways to bring their interests into the classroom. (For example, when writing silly lab safety scenarios to practice “what not to do,” I encouraged students to use their favorite TV show characters in their stories!)
Using Preferred Names
Yes, you’re probably like, “Of course I use my students’ correct names!” But are they the students’ preferred names? Here me out –
This year, I asked on my student survey, “What do you want to be called?” I got the normal nickname responses – “Bella” instead of “Isabella” and so on. However, students also shared requests about their pronouns and “unconventional” nicknames (the kind of nickname that doesn’t tie to their legal name).
I’ll be honest – I’ve never called students by those kind of “unconventional” nicknames. However, since I asked what they wanted to be called, I decided I should probably respect their response.
Here’s what happened:
One student came into class on the first day, completely withdrawn and unwilling to pick up his pencil. He didn’t do much work, and one of the few things he completed on the student survey was the “preferred name.” It was unconventional… but I decided to give it a go.
He emerged. That’s the only way I can think of to describe it – he just came out of his shell and joined us. I mean, he’s still quiet, and he’s not always the most motivated kid in the class… but he is working and engaging and learning.
Maybe it wasn’t the nickname… but maybe it was.
I choose to believe using my students preferred names has made a difference.
Respect Agreements Versus Rules
One of the biggest changes I made this year was using respect agreements to establish our classroom norms as well as consequences instead of coming in with the traditional, top-down approach to rules and expectations.
Why?
Well, respect agreements are effective ways to:
- define (as a community) the set of behaviors we associated with giving and receiving respect,
- create opportunity for student input and therefore cultivate buy-in
- promote accountability and acceptance of expectations and consequences
- cultivate a sense that the class is a team or unit, working together for the common goal of learning and growing
You can learn more about the reasons for using respect agreements in this video or get a breakdown on putting your own together at this blog post.
I can say that creating this respect agreement this year has given me stronger footing on which ot address behavior issues and has resulted in far less “push-back” to the enforcement of rules and consequences. When discussing behaviors that arise that I’m not thrilled about (ex/ breaking pencils, disruptive chatter, etc.), I can refer back to this agreement that we all made and committed to, and instead of creating “teacher versus students” moments, it feels more like “reinforcing our community” – which benefits us all.
Parent/Guardian Outreach
Contacting parents proactively is a great strategy to build trust and connection with not only your students but also their learning partners – their parents or guardians! This kind of parent contact isn’t focused on addressing a behavior or academic issue. Rather, it’s an interaction centered around a positive event.
You might consider sending a note home in the first few days, introducing yourself and sharing with parents your experience, what you’re excited about this year, and/or information about your course or classroom.
Once the year gets rolling, you may want to send a note home celebrating a students’ success, sharing your appreciation for something a student did, or simply recognizing positive traits their student exhibits. As a parent myself, I want to know my kids’ teachers know who they are and even better, care about them. This kind of outreach absolutely sparks all kinds of warm, fuzzy feelings on my end (and my kids’) and fosters a sense of partnership and teamwork – we both are working for the best interest of my kid.
From a teacher’s perspective, these contacts create a positive connection that can act as a buffer when the contacts are less positive later on. With that in mind, you may want to prioritize the households you anticipate will be on the receiving end of the less positive contacts. When parents know you see all the good things in their kids, despite whatever challenges a child may pose, they’re much more likely to be on your team when you need them to be.
Good Mornings
Do you greet each student who comes into your classroom? Taking a few moments to say hello, greet a student by name, and maybe ask a simple check-in (“how was your weekend?” “how was lunch?”) as students are moving into your classroom and beginning their start-of-class procedure is a quick and easy way to reinforce the connections you’ve made on a daily basis. It’s not even something you need to remember to do, as their simple presence is the trigger.
Sometimes, students can get “lost” in the hustle and bustle of class, and (no judgment) you may not even realize the quiet ones are there. Greeting each student as they walk in creates at least one connection point each day and keeps kids from getting lost in the shuffle.
Play
Yes, you read that right. Spend some time playing in your classroom. Incorporating play – board games, engineering challenges, movement games, online trivia, etc. – gives you a chance to interact with your students in an entirely unique way. You can see different parts of your students, and they can experience a different side of you.
Plus, laughing and smiling release chemicals in our brains that not only make us feel good but also make us feel connected to one another. When we can incorporate play into the classroom – and join in with our students – we’re wiring our brains together, fostering stronger relationships and building our classroom community.
Marble Jar Moments
I know all of these strategies seem so simple and so small – but remember, that’s the point. Trust – the foundation of all relationships – is built in the small moments. These simple strategies are the tiny “marbles” that we deposit into our classroom jars. Alone, they might not do much — but when we show our students we know them and care about them in these small ways, again and again, those marble jars fill up… and our classroom communities become spaces where our students are ready and able to learn.
